As a woman with disabilities, I am very aware of how dangerous it is for me to be alone at night.
I shared my live location with my friends/partner.
I called my partner while I was walking alone at night.
I wore a big jacket to hide any view of skin, even in summer.
I held my keys within my fingers.
I changed path if I saw someone in my way.
I had girlfriends asking me to text them when I got home, and I did the same for them.
I ran.
Since I have a hearing disability, it is not even that I can't wear headphones, it is that I can't really hear someone approaching even if I am aware of this.
If you say "Catch an Uber", I did. I once got an Uber driver that asked me very inappropriate questions and kept pushing for a date, and I kept thinking he could just drive off. I reported him, but never felt safe again in an Uber.
As an autistic woman I am very well aware that I have a higher chance of being a victim of sexual abuse or violence. As a hard of hearing woman, I am terrified of not hearing the steps of someone close to me at night, so I am hyper aware, which is exhausting and very debilitating.
• Disabled women are almost twice as likely to have experienced sexual assault than non-disabled women.1
• 70% of deaf women have been sexually assaulted.2
• 90% of autistic woman have been sexually assaulted.3
I am very aware that probabilities are against me.
Sarah Everard was going home at night, around 21 hours, which is not too late. She took a long way home to ensure there was light. She called her boyfriend. A police officer took her and ended her life.
These behaviours are not engrained in us to be safe. They are engrained to ensure YOU are not the one kidnapped/raped/murdered. Because this will happen to someone. And it's clear now that these behaviours are not taught to make us safe, but to control our behaviour so that we do not go out at night, do not drink too much, and do not "ask for it". Because independently of how much we try, women are still violated.
Not all men do this, no. But enough of them do to impose these safety measures in every girl and woman. So instead of constantly saying "Not all men", let's say "Not one more woman".
For Sarah Everard, and for all the women that never get to come home.
References:
1. Disability and crime, UK: 2019 - https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/bulletins/disabilityandcrimeuk/2019
2. Elliott Smith, R. A., & Pick, L. H. (2015). Sexual Assault Experienced by Deaf Female Undergraduates: Prevalence and Characteristics. Violence and victims, 30(6), 948–959. https://doi.org/10.1891/0886-6708.VV-D-14-00057
3. Cazalis, F., Reyes, E., Leduc, S., & Gourion, D. (2022). Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence. Frontiers in behavioral neuroscience, 16, 852203. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2
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